Monday, September 13, 2004

Itemized List of Things The Spazz's Spastic Dog Has Eaten and Thusly Destroyed In The Past Six Months and Their Approximate Value

1) Designer Eye Glasses $300
2) Countless Rolls of Paper Towels ???
3) Hand-Me Down Throw Pillows $0
5) 2 Pairs Flip Flops from Target $30
6) Pat's Black Dress Shoes $40
7) Pat's White Nursing Shoes $40
8) Joy's Classic Van Slip-Ons
with the Cherry-checker-board
print that she liked a lot
and had just gotten that week $35
9) Joy's Red Dansko Mary-Janes $116
10) 1 bottle Ibuprofen $804 ($4 for the pills,
$800 for the emergency vet visit)
11) Library Book $30
12) Photographic Biography of Oscar
Wilde (that I bought in Ireland
and whichhappens to be out of
print in the U.S) $25
13) My Beloved copy of "Stitch
and Bitch" $12
14) The belt with the silver glitter
skulls on it that I bought in
Belfast when my pants were
falling down $12
15) Plastic dog food dish $3
16) Plastic water dish $3
17) Countless pairs of Pat's
white socks ???
18) Stan's Death Cab for Cutie CD $12
19) "Seven Years in Tibet" starring
Brad Pitt with a hot German
accent $9
20) Bukowski's "Love is a Dog
from Hell" (not ironic in the
least bit) $12

7 Comments:

Blogger Tom Todaro said...

So bill the dumb dog. Or sell him to medical science. By the way, "Thier" is a typo in your headline (I know you'll hate T-Daddy proofing your post.

September 12, 2004 at 11:29 PM  
Blogger bexx said...

kisses to ronin for eating "seven years in tibet" - a bad movie and an even worse attempt by brad pitt at a german accent. he should stick to speaking pikey.

i also applaud ronin's taste in CDs - death cab for cutie deserves to die a horrible death in the mouth of a dog. (sorry stan)

September 13, 2004 at 12:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Todaro said...

He ate a double dish here. I had to pick up the pieces before I cut the yard. Add another six bucks and five in labor for picking up the pieces.

September 13, 2004 at 10:48 PM  
Blogger Tom Todaro said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

September 15, 2004 at 10:17 PM  
Blogger Tom Todaro said...

Good, you corrected your typo. Your craft is good, keep it up, it makes your superior style even better.

September 15, 2004 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger Tom Todaro said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

September 15, 2004 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger J-Bee said...

If my mom was a blogger (that is, the day Longaberger joins this realm) she would tell you about the time Lady Bear ate half of the biggest bottom tier of a wedding cake for a reception the following day. Chris made me lay in front of the dogs cage-- "Be brave, and whatever she says, don't move! The dog's dead." We saved Lady. But the best part was the WAY she ate it, leaving a perfectly intact half. licked clean. No, i swear it wasn't me. Though i can't speak for my brother. I hope Ronin is as clever in his endeavours.

September 16, 2004 at 10:40 AM  

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